It's bitter cold and I'm not feeling particularly great at the moment. I always get like this when the weather is cold and the nights get dark so early.  I definitely need bright days and warmth to kick me into action

It's Sunday and my partner is at work, my children went to a party at their cousin's last night and are spending the day there, so I  am stuck here, miles from anywhere with nowhere to go and only the dogs for company.  My partner has the car for work, so I can't even go out.  I could take the dogs for a long walk across the fields, but it's so cold!   But they need the run and I need the fresh air..

Maybe later.

For now I'll just let off a bit of steam about an issue that has been troubling me.

Although I haven't had much time, I have been looking around some of the journals on this site.  I wasn't surprised to see quite a few where the writers are talking about struggling to lose weight, as this seems pretty normal nowadays.  But I was very pleased to see that those who have what would be termed as 'eating disorders' are not banned from this site.  We all need somewhere to rant and to talk to others about our problems, after all.

I suppose you could say that I am one of those people who have a 'problem' with weight issues.  I'm thin (some would say skinny, but I don't agree) and I am terrified of getting fat.  I don't need anyone tellling me that 'fat is a feminist issue' or that I should just 'relax and learn to feel good about myself'.  I know all of this.  But it does no good.

It will allways be an issue for me to stay slim and, to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way.  I was overweight once, as a child, and the bullying I suffered because of it and the low self esteem it left me with haunt me to this day.  There is no way I would ever want to feel like that again.  So I feel it is a very small price to pay to constantly ensure that I remain slim.  It's also a lot easier that way.  If I remain slim, I don't have to worry about dieting and all that brings with it (I was anorexic for years and I suppose a shrink would say it still affects me now, even though my BMI is okay nowadays).  I wouldn't want to go that way again.

As far as I am concerned, I eat pretty healthily (and I eat only when I'm hungry, unless it's a bad day and then I have to eat chocolate ) and (except on days like today, when it is just too cold to go out) I try to get some exercise every day (and my job is pretty energetic anyway).  So I reckon that, even though I do have an 'issue' about putting on weight, I am still healthier than many people (a bit cranky at times, but I would be that way anyway ).

So it angers me when I see that others who think like me are hounded off the net.  I followed a link from one of the journals here.  It led to a site where people who some would class as having 'eating disorders' could go and share notes.  And this site had a link to a petition people could sign, to say that it was wrong that anorexics and bulimics and others were having their sites closed down.  I quite agree.  There are sites and forums out there for racists, bigots and violent bullies of all kinds and no one seems to be closing them down, so why the hell close down places where those with problems with their weight can get help and support from others?  I tried to sign the petition, but the link it sent me didn't work - I wonder why?

It strikes me as sheer ignorance and as a cynical pandering to the media when website owners victimise peaceful people like this.

Constantly now we get glossy mags picking on 'celebs' who they say are 'too thin'.  They show pictures of them that are supposed to horrify us.  Well, I'm sorry, but it doesn't horrify me.  Most of the celebs they show  either look good anyway, or they have had their picture taken in a pose which has made them look thinner than they actually are.  Even an idiot could work that one out.  And these same mags have pages and pages of slim models, showing off clothes and cosmetics, and looking good.  Why don't they have pictures of overweight models, if they really believed in what they preach?  Because these models would not look as good in the clothes they have to advertise.  And we all know this.  So what is the point of picking on slim women when they are really encouraging us all to be slim? Bbecause being anti-anorexics and anti-bulimics is the fashion for the media at this point in time.

Eventually they will find another undeserving target to make money from.  But for now it is slim women.

I've strayed from the point a bit here, but basically, all I am saying is that victimising people and saying they are 'disordered' in some way, is not good and it certainly is not right.

I think I'll go and have another try at signing that petition

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